Title: She rocks him gently
Spoilers: Sein Und Zeit and Closure
Rating: R
Category - MSR
Author: benex
Summary - First Passionate Kiss  Challenge
Date: 26 oct 2008
Feedback: bbentini@libero.it
Mulder and Scully react to the news of his mother's death.

(She had just told him that his mother 
had killed herself. MULDER turned to 
SCULLY desperately and held her tightly 
around her waist and cried. She held him 
and put her lips against his neck. She 
rocked him gently.) 
It was then that something changed between 
them. For a long time they denied themselves 
of the joy to be more than partners and friends. 
But lately they had become more and more 
important to each other. There was trust. 
They were aware. He could do everything for 
her. She could bear everything for him. 
A silent attraction had always been 
there between them: banned but desired, 
wanted but rejected. Maybe once they had 
considered the idea, letting imagination 
fly away on a life togheter but instead 
of facing reality and opening themselves 
up, they didn't talk about it, fearing to 
regret the dialogue because the other 
could not feel the same. Nonetheless the 
events of the last months, the sufferings, 
the losses had strenghted their relationship, 
and lead them to something unexpeted. It was 
clear now that things were evolving, thus 
fighting those doubts that echoed in their 
heads and prevent any further action 
wasn't easy anymore. A feeling so dangerous, 
they didn't even dare to dream about was infact 
hatching, buried so deep inside, in a place 
long forgot in their memories. And there it was 
until now, dormant but alive, growing slowly 
but strongly and waiting to find the right 
moment to explode.
They began to be vulnerable. And this was the 
night where nature was finally having its best 
upon rationality.
In that moment of pain while Scully was trying 
to console him, Mulder took the first step, he 
needed to fill emptiness and doing so he allowed 
himself to give them a chance,  to lit that fire that 
was burning inside, of him at least.
He raised his head, her face so close to his that 
he could feel her warm breath on his skin,
their eyes locked in one another. For some 
instants, that seemed an eternity, they 
remained still in the same position, desire 
mounting inside but unable to decide the next 
move, pondering the different possibilities 
and afraid to ruin their lives, to risk 
everything they had. And for what? For a 
moment of pleasure? But then it happened. 
So fast. So Simple. So intense. Passion won. 
Hearts, minds and souls collided powerfully, 
and they found themselves caught by seven years 
of unspoken love. 
This time instead of running away, Mulder' s shaking 
hand reached Scully's face, his thumb stroke her cheek 
while they slowly leaned  toward the others; lips met, 
at first with hesitation, trembling but then braver, 
demanding for more. The kiss deepened. It was so different 
from the one on new year's eve. It was a pleasant 
surprise for both of them to find out that it was 
only the beginning, that they were both eager for 
more than that. He heard her gasp. Her hands were 
entangled in his hair. He was waiting for her to 
stop him, but she didn't, on the other hand she 
kissed him back, as fiercely and passionately as 
he did. They only parted to regain oxygen and he 
took that opportunity to lower her on the floor; 
she knew it was up to her to bring them back to their 
senses, she was the rational one; but she didn't 
want that. She closed her eyes, savoring the 
moment, feeling nothing but the touch of his warm hands 
and lips against her skin. The tension was 
rising,heating up the air in the room. Her fingers tasted 
his muscles under the sweater.  They knew 
where this was headed.
But while he was removing her clothes and kissing her neck, 
she regained consciousness. He wanted to love her and she 
wanted him so much but she knew that this wasn't the right 
time for a romance to start. Even if it hurt she needed to 
stop that wonderful wrong thing. How could it be so 
unfair something so good and longed? How could she do that? 
Her mind was yelling at her. 
Now or never. 
"Fox" she said breathless. 
His name, his first name, whispered by her in his hears. 
A novelty. He was so used to his surname, to Mulder,  
that he found this amazing and thrilling.
"Fox" he heard again while he was tracing her pale body 
with his soft lips. He looked up at her.  
He was so hungry of her, but her voice was so broken, so pleading.
"It. it's not right please"
Silence. She saw disappointment in his gaze. 
And "not now" she added smiling at him.
He nodded and placed his head on her belly, on that womb that 
had refused their child and without looking at her he asked  
"Can you stay for the night?please?" she was so astonished 
and flattered by his request, by his respect for her, even in 
that moment of weakness. Even if she had pushed him back, 
he put her first. 
But he couldn't let her go, he needed her this night more than 
ever in the past.
"Yes. Of course" she replied gently, caressing his head
"Can I hold you?"  , "yes" she said firmly, grabbing his hair 
to lift his face and let him understand she was sincere. 
They had just waited 7 years, they could wait a little more. 
Didn't they? She repeated it to herself. 
But then he was himself again, the moment lost, 
hopefully only for now.
He changed his position on the cold floor. He embraced her 
from behind. Holding her tight to keep themselves warm, 
hiding his face on her hairs and smelling her scent, 
he closed his eyes and fall asleep.


One week after having come to a closure with his sister's case 
and 3 days after having mourn his mother, he found the courage 
to face the event of that night at his apartment. 
Without expectation he knocked at Scully's door: 
he wasn't sure of Scully reaction, if she was ready to explore 
a new path with him or just forget and continue to be friends, 
as nothing had ever happened. But she was waiting for him. 
The sparkling on her eyes when she opened the door 
told him that she was willing to go on from where they left, 
this lighted up his fire again and gave him a new strength. With an 
impetus he barely knew to have, he entered the room, and closed the 
door behind them. 
They didn't share a word, they knew each other so well. 
He pulled her on to his arms and moving toward the bedroom 
they started kissing.